The Tao of Dealing With The Terrible!

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Hi, Thanks for dropping my again. How’s it going? Had a pretty awesome week. It’s all because of the awesome people I am with at work. I used to have the most crapiest colleagues. Not that they are bad but sometimes even though their intentions may be good, the advice given is not usually suited to you. I had a lot of that before.

This blog will teach you how to deal with the ‘terrible’- being in a negative situation the Bruce Lee style! Be warned there are some controversial information and it may not be for the WEAK HEARTED! I am not trying to offend anyone in this blog, be it family or my colleagues, ex-colleagues or friends. In fact these situations have helped me be a better person towards others and want to help those that have or are going to face the same situations I had. So here we go, lets start pump it up!

Identifying the bad vibesImage may be NSFW.
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The first step in all of this is to know where this ‘negative situation or vibes’ coming from (Internal or External). In my situation it was work and sometimes even form the closest people around me. These are the common situations where you probably may encounter such bad vibes from :

External areas -

- peer pressure

- work

- family

Internal areas (From yourself)

- inability to accept change and uncertainties

- Pessimistic

- Loves talking themselves down

- Not Assertive enough

My external problems were work and family. Internal issues I had with myself was the inability of accepting uncertainties and not being assertive enough.

Steps I Took To Deal With Each Situation (Work & Family)

I’ll run through with you a few steps I took to deal with each situation and how I applied it.

Step 1 – Don’t Judge or Assume Negative Thoughts Of The Person or Situation

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Never let your emotions get involved in dealing with anything. Let it flow but react logically without any emotions.

Work – My boss was very demanding in work performance and results. I was expected to work 16-18hr a day and come back on the weekends. I didn’t react but tried to understand why I was meant to do. Sounds stupid right, but see what happens at the end.

Family – I was not doing well academically and was given a weird way of encouragement. A few of my family members called me a failure and an embarrassment to the family. Funny way of motivating isn’t it!

Step 2 – Classify the Situation

There are 4 categories I classify situations:

1 - does the person know what they’re doing is not right

2 - are they negative minded

3 - do they want to improve

4 – they just don’t give a damn

Work – My boss was negative minded (For Sure) and does not know what was happening is not right (really bad personality).

Family – They (only a select few) did not know what they’re doing is not right are negative minded and do not want to improve.

Step 3 – Approaching the situation

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Presuming your boss is in category 1 or 2, you must let them know what they can improve. It can be a bit difficult as people don’t really like change especially between the employee- employer or even in the hierarchy of a typical Asian family balance, but I had to deal with it. There’s always autocratic rule everywhere, you just need to know how to break or avoid it! As bot people are mind readers you have to approach them and let them know what is going on in your head.

Work – In my situation, I tried talking to my boss about how I felt I was treated and wanted some change. It’s always about creating leverage between the boss and me.

Family -Being Asian it was typically a talk down situation. information gets passed down and rarely gets moved upwards. So it was not possible to approach them.

Step 4 – Time is always a factor – act fast & Provide suggestions.Image may be NSFW.
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Having a rough connection with your supervisor is a bit hard to progress in work. Best way is to approach and deal with the situation fast. The longer you wait the harder it becomes. Always give suggestions to solve a problem rather than handing a problem back to the situation you are having.

Work – I went up to my supervisor after having a bad time on the first day and told everything where I felt I need attention and where they need to back off! But of course it was in a diplomatic manner.

Family – I did try it but speaking to someone with a one track mind was a bit challenging. But I did it anyways. I told them how I felt and what I did not want to hear as it made me feel defeated. Got me into trouble though Image may be NSFW.
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Step 5: Make a plan and follow upImage may be NSFW.
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After providing suggestions, make a plan and follow it up.

Work – My boss did agree and we decided to go with a plan  we both sorted out.

Family - I decided not to bring it up again as they were not used to the idea. People don’t like change, so it didn’t bother me and I continued finding what I wanted in life for myself and not for their interests.

Conclusion: If everything fails, use the force against them!

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Sometimes things may not turn out the way you want and dodging bad vibes can go against the other party.

Work - Unfortunately, the boss never could follow through with the plan. Like I said before sometimes people need time to adapt to change and obviously my boss was not able to accept it. In the end, I got offered a better position with lesser hours in another company, better colleagues and my ex-boss wound up doing 2 jobs instead of 1.

Family – The Irony of this was I went on to do my degree overseas and when I came back they treated me like a hero?! Yeah, weird isn’t it! One of them even asked for my graduation photo. Funny thing is, at one point they even said I did not deserve to go overseas to study because I was not smart enough!

Life is full of bad vibes, but if you don’t let them get to you then you’ll end up being your own hero. From Zero to Hero, you make your own destiny! Hope you have an awesome day and continue to make it everyday! I really appreciate you being here and would really love to hear your views.